Dear Expedia.com,
Yesterday, I booked a trip through your website and I gave you my credit card number which you in turn charged for the agreed upon very large sum of money. Today, I have a question about the trip that I booked through your website for which you appropriated a very large sum of my money.
The first time I called, I was on hold for forty five minutes and then you hung up on me.
The second time I called, I was on hold for thirty five minutes and my cell phone's battery life expired before you picked up the phone.
The third time I called, I was on hold for fifty eight minutes and then you hung up on me.
Normally, I can take a hint; but you in your case, I'll make an exception. I'm going to keep calling and calling and listening to your gut-wrenching hold music for as long as it takes for me to get through and when/if you finally answer my phone call, I'll have one more question for you: Why do you even have a phone number? You've made it clear that you would prefer that I not bother you via telephone, so why not just take that option off of the table? You'd be happier and I wouldn't have to listen to your nauseating hold music; everyone wins!
Think about it.
Sincerely,
The Guy Who Is About To Take Advantage Of Your 24 Hour Penalty-Free Cancellation Policy And Then Give My Money To The First Of Your Competitors To Answer The Phone When I Call Them
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