Hello?

Breaking news: The Ultra-Hip and Exclusive, Invite-Only Club of Google+ is now open to everyone! You may all begin celebrating now.

Being as cool and in-the-know as I am, I had no idea that Club Google+ had been opened to the masses. So, when I noticed I had been asked to join, I was a little excited but mostly just upset that it had taken so long for someone to invite me. I made some snide remarks on Facebook to that effect, then realized my error and tried to retract them. Not my finest performance.

Now that the dust has settled on my entrance, I'm looking around Google's cutting edge internet discotec and see...that there's no one here.

It's less like an exclusive nightclub and more like a stylish coffee bar: quiet, with sleek plastic furniture and a few people hanging around minding their own business.

I do like that it's quiet, though. I feel like Facebook has become a venue exclusively for things that I couldn't care less about all trying to get my attention at the same time.

"Come on down to FarmVille!" What? Why the hell would I want to pretend to live on a damn farm?

"Jimmy likes Bacardi!" Yeah he does.  A little too much, if we're being honest.  That's why he can't keep a job.

"Sally just got the highest score ever on Who Gives A Crap!" Good for her?

"My baby just took her first steps!" Finally.  She's 7.

So, we'll see how the Google+ thing progresses and hopefully it will be a viable alternative to Facebook someday.  But for right now, I'm casually sitting in the corner trying not to bother anyone and so is everyone else: I have a whopping 1 item on my stream in the last 3 days. Thrilling.