Friday, April 29, 2011

Public Service Announcement

Facebook friends,

I feel it is important for me to let you know that there exists a clear list of things that, if posted by you, WILL get you permanently hidden from my newsfeed. Below is a copy of that list. I suggest that you read it carefully and that you consider the consequences of what you're about to do when you are on the verge of posting one of the following ill-advised status updates.

You WILL get hidden if you:

1. Mention how excited you are about seeing "Fast and Furious 5".
2. Express ANY support for Donald Trump for president, or the idea that the current President of the United States was possibly not born in this country.
3. Post any nostalgic recollection of the "Bush Years".
4. Subject us all to a picture of your fat-pregnant-belly. NO ONE wants to see that. Trust me.
5. Notify me that you have just friended "Prince William of Wales"
6. Discuss the outcome of any reality show. This includes, but is not limited to, American Idol, The Voice, Chopped, X Factor, Dancing with the Stars, America's Next Top Model, Rock of Love, and Temptation Island.

Thank you for your time and attention and I, again, encourage you to strongly consider these guidelines when posting.

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