You Can't Say that...Ever: Vol.9

Wife who just returned home from her 3rd straight 10 hour work day: "Why are you drinking red wine out of a coffee cup?"

Me: "I'm unemployed. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"

A lot has happened in the last few weeks and, as usual, I don't want to bore you with the mundane details of my life. However, I feel as though I should put the preceding melodrama into context.

The lovely and talented attorney that I am (as of the writing of this post) currently married to has accepted a job offer in Austin. Consequently, I resigned from IDPCA, we packed all our stuff and we moved down here over the weekend.

And now we're here. She's working long hours and I'm diligently searching for a job.

Let me clarify, I mean diligently searching for a job when I'm not:
a. watching videos of cats diving into boxes
b. running errands
b. watching movie trailers
c. shopping online for impractical things like a Vespa, plane tickets to Libya, a movie replica Thor hammer, etc.

You would think that I finally got what I always wanted. I sit around unsupervised all day with very little in the way of structure to get in the way of my constant search for amusement.

You would be wrong.

It turns out being a house-husband (A.K.A. - my ultimate dream in life) is very very dull. We don't have cable, so soap operas are out. We live in a tiny one bedroom apartment, it's just the two of us and we just moved in, so cleaning up takes all of about 3 seconds. As long as we're on one salary, I don't have the means to go shopping all day long, like some stay-at-home spouses do. So, it's just me, online job boards and Maru the Box Cat all day long.

But, it's only Day 4. Maybe it gets better. Maybe, like a lot of other things in life, you just have to ease into it.

Which explains why I am sitting on the couch drinking red wine out of a coffee mug: I'm just trying to put my full effort into it. You know, really get to the spirit of unemployed-ness. Embrace it. And also because all the dishes except the coffee mugs are in the dishwasher.

So, I'm going to give it another couple days, but if being unemployed doesn't get to be awesome pretty soon, I'm just gonna give up on my dreams and get a job.

Hahaha! Take That, Trump

Saturday night was the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner, but it might have well been a roast of Donald Trump. Except that roasts are usually good-natured and intended as a sign of admiration of the recipient. In this case, it was just some good old fashioned public humiliation in the style of tarring and feathering, only without all the messy clean up afterwards.

Now, before you start getting all, "Oh, how mean. Why are they picking on this guy in front of a ballroom full of people?" please remember who we are talking about here: the granddaddy of all media whores, Donald Trump. You should NOT feel sorry for him in any way for the simple reason that he brought this attention on himself. He forced himself into a conversation in which he is grossly under qualified to participate. He is the one making outlandish remarks that are unsubstantiated by any crumb of fact or proof. In short, he has no issues with making a mockery of the American political system and the 24 hour cable news cycle when it benefits him, so why should anyone (up to and including the Leader of the Free World) shy away from using those same forces against him? The answer, of course, is that they should not.

So, thank you Mr. President and Seth Meyers for taking time out of your busy schedules to publicly pummel this bad-haired-loud-mouth-loser.






Man, I love to watch the public humiliation of a shamelessly filthy sideshow/media whore! Also, look at his face while Meyers is roasting him. He doesn't even crack a smile. What an ass. Don't take yourself so seriously, "The Donald". And if you're going to, then you should get back to doing what you do best--starring in mediocre reality TV shows (read: Fox News)--and stop trying to be a politician. Idiot.