Dear CIA:

Kill this guy.

Anwar al-Awlaki


Thank you.

Wedding Planning 201

"I can't do this, I don't have time," she said.

"It's not like it matters, anyway, just pick something," she said.

"I don't care, just handle it," she said.

"Why are our wedding invitations neon colored with Star Wars characters on them!?" she said.

"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both."

-- Benjamin Franklin

Think about that, TSA. Now, can I put my shoes back on?

Wedding Planning 101

I'm blogging to you from the office today. Specifically, the floor under my desk at the office. Why? Because I crawled here. Why? Because in an effort to get in shape for our upcoming beach nuptials, I allowed my beautiful fiance to talk me into going to a class at the gym called 'Body Sculpting'. I have to believe that actually sculpting my body (with a chisel) would have been less painful.

So here I am, sprawled out on the floor, trying not to alarm anyone, but desperately needing help getting into my chair.